bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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