Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't put those talents on a resume
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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