Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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