Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
