our cab driver is having phone sex.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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