I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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