I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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