lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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