You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
