I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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