smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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