You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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