girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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