My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
