I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Randomize
