and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
