Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
