Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
