Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
