using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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