Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
