True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize