her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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