i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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