The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
