YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
