Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
