I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And then my night got REAL pukey
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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