the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize