all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.