Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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