matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
it glows. i had to have it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So vagazzling was a success
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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