I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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