Pants 0. Shit 1.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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