I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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