vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
