but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
