I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who died my cat blue again?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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