Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
