i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
