so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
