Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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