Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
