I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
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I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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