Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
