that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
