I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize