At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just invented taco cereal.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
