There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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