worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
