Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
