1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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