wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
