The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
