I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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