from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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