I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
