I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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