Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
