I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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