I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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