That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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