Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
