its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
