Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
