I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
