i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
