i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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