also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
