He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
