I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
