remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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