Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
