She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
