So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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