So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
