Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
